girl kidnapped by evil dough mixer, ransom demands of $5,000,000, and the evil truths come out

i went to BB's the other day looking for andrea and i got there and i didnt see her. so i called her. she said she was in the back. and there she was. in the back. in an apron. making challah. its a conspiracy im sure. all of my friends are working at BB's. during the day its ok actually. no scary people there. and the back is fun. you just hang out with the erics and quantam and tito and mary and everyone and they have music on and they just make food. they stand around and talk and stuff and joke and its fun to hang out back there. kinda cool. they listened as andrea and i had this really funny conversation about shopoholics, guys, neighbors, marriage, nail polish, work, college, food, and chassidus. they were amused. i have once again secured my spot as the entertainer of the establishment. i went to eric's for shabbos and that was fun. theyre kids are adorable. it also meant i got out of going to the TI shabbaton, which is so highschool it makes me sick. i hate shabbatons. theyre stupid. when there is an all girls shabbaton, they all split off into little groups and have private conversations about deep and meaningful stuff. and for some reason is always ends in tears for everyone and then you have to have a kumzitz to feel better and feel uplifted. now is that stupid or what?
my roommate says im cynical. especially when it comes to matters of judaism. i never thought about it that way. i dont think im closed minded. i think that ihave some previous experiences and therefore a biased personal opinion on certain areas of judaism. i dont mind people who are chassidish or lubavitch or anything else. that is their choice. as long as they dont try to push it on other people. that i have a problem with. i also have a problem with people doing something that might be the right thing in the end, or the end result might be something good, but going about it the wring way doesnt make it right. like the song "flippin out" by blue fringe. i dont like that group very much but that song is funny. and its true. all these bochurim who think they are doing the right thing, but they are doing it in totally the wrong way. my friend argued with me and said better that they do it all at once then wait. i disagree. dropping friends, disrespecting your parents, none of those are admirable things, no matter how expensive your borzilino is. and some people dont get that. i guess i am close minded. and cynical. and that is my evil truth. everyone has to have one i guess.
still no word on my neighbor. cant leave a girl hanging like that. say youre gonna call and then not write to me for a week. my brain has bored a whole into the side of my head and crawled out of its own accord. its rather uncomfortable let me tell you. kind of squishy. ide like to leave all my readers with that lovely image. ciao.

everyone is a little bi-polar at heart

well it was just one of those weeks. first everything is going well. then everything is going terribly. then a couple hours later its all good again. now, see, i dont know about you but i dont think the human body was programmed to have such drastic mood swings like that. the brain goes *screeeeeeech* and yells, "hey! yo! gimme a minute to catch up there buddy!" as it huffs and puffs, one step behind all the time. thats what i feel like at the moment.

the week started out pretty much ok. a little moody, a little pms-y, a little contemplative (which is never a good combination by the way, i always end up doing something really strange when im in those moods). monday night. d-day. i was ok. still a little moody. at BB's but it was ok. someone came in that i didnt want to deal with but it all worked out ok. talked to dev and got in a better mood. talked to mo, got in a better mood because he always makes me laugh. he said the word "kissables" which for some reason sent me over the edge. i was a little hysterical. then something happened to my computer. i pushed a button, my computer shut down and when it turned back on my desktop was blank, and itunes....was empty. well after i screamed, cried, punched the wall (literally, my hand is a little sore) i managed to find my music buried somewhere inside my computer but it was still messed up. i went to sleep with so much frustrated energy, that i couldnt even close my eyes. i turned on metallica on my ipod as loud as it would go. within ten minutes i was asleep. i was MAD.

tuesday jenny came an got me from BB's where i was hanging out while i was skipping class. she took me to the apple store and we fixed my computer. all good. coffee and fixed computer make for a much better night. so thats pretty much resolved, few kinks in the resetting of my computer but at least i know there is nothing wrong with it.

well the beast has reared its head yet again. i brought up the deal with my neighbor again. his sister said shes gonna talk to him to see what his side of the story is. at this point even if i dont get the answer i want ill be relieved because at least ill be able to move on and stop agonizing over what ifs. right now not knowing is much more painful then knowing i didnt get the answer i wanted. so we'll see how this one turns out. im still agonizing over whether or not she is really gonna talk to him.

remember how i mentioned i had a crazy week? yeah. the human body is not equipped to deal with so many emotions in such a short period of time. seriously. i feel like a wrung out wash cloth. if thats possible. well i must go. ive got a brain to catch up with.