Praise of the Pack-Rat

Well remember the homeless guy that I wrote a poem for?? Well my brother's other roommate was apparently jealous and he wanted a poem also. So here is a poem in honor of him.

Praise of the Pack-Rat

by Q

VOLUME I: THE WAR OF THE PRODUCTS

Gather close, gather near

listen my children and you will hear

as I tell you with great joy

the story of the Pack-Rat boy!

If you recall the Homeless Guy

he moved out, by and by

there was another in that apartment

though his quirks were a different department

Two in this room, since the other departed

they shared their space in an affect whole-hearted

but slowly the third boy became aware

of the Pack-Rat boy, beware.

Along the dresser there is a line

of many Axe bottles, more than nine

each one is a different scent

all his money on these he spent

His hair products they amount

to half his holdings, a large amount

his obsessions with these style bottles are

worse then a girls, much more by far

Hundreds of bottles, thousandths of bottles

millions and billions and trillions of bottles

and so ends this epic, volume one

the war of the products has just begun.

VOLUME II: A TRAGIC ACCIDENT

Oh, woe! Woe, to the Pack-Rat

his agility is quite unlike a cat

listen closely please once more

and I will try not to be a bore

The day dawned very blue

and at the slopes the boy was due

the Pack-Rat was as of yet unclear

the price he'd pay would be very dear

He stood atop this snowy peak

with winds blowing harshly upon his cheek

he gripped his board with strength intended

to send him to the bottom in a story well ended

His descent began most admirable

as the crowd watched his every move most avidly

they gasped, they screamed, because they were awed

and as he slid by, the oohed, they aahed

Then suddenly there was a fumble

the Pack-Rat stumbled, he tumbled

through the air he flew in a way admired

by skiers long ago retired

When the Pack-Rat leaves each week

to the doctor, he goes in a way most meek

his bones are bruised most painfully

his roommate tries not to laugh too spitefully

EPILOGUE

My tale of the Pack-Rat ends right here

but I promise his life is far from over, never fear

he lives on, to you I would not dare tell a lie

for there are thousands beauty products left to buy.

I should start charging for these poems. Im getting better at them. And that's my tale! Now I must return to class if they have not already decided to throw my books out the window into oncoming traffic.

Maturity, Lesson 1

people are weird. i know thats a strange realization to come to after all these years, but i just recently found out that people are alot weirder then i though they were. actually, i think weird is the wrong word. people are selfish. me included. everyone is only looking for what will benefit them. how they can manipulate every single situation so that they get something out of it, whether they need it or just simply want it. people are manipulative and controlling and selfish. i wonder what we can do about it. probably nothing really. but we can focus on fixing it in ourselves i guess. try not to take advantage of other people. and when it comes down to it, don't let yourself be taken advantage of either. its a hard lesson to learn, one that most people learn the difficult way. its not so pleasing to wake up one morning and realize that you have been totally and completely manipulated without your knowledge. you find yourself doing things that you wouldnt normally do, but because of the way someone treats you, you find yourself doing them anyway. the good side is that you can realize it and do something about it. the scary part of it is, if its just in a friend you can distance yourself from them and of they hate you they hate you. but sometimes it takes you a while to figure it out, say six months or so. all of a sudden im a reeeeeealllllllyyyyyyyy big fan of going out for alot longer then a month, two months, even three. i think it takes longer then that to REALLY be able to get to know someone. once you get past the four to six month mark, i think thats when everything really starts to come out. all of a sudden im that person who wants to go out for a good six months before getting engaged, and i wasnt like that for a long time. i was of the belief that you could know someone is right for you long before that. well now, i think you have to spend more time with them over a longer period of time to be absolutely sure. its freaky. because all those people who date for two months and are engaged for two months and get married, what if they wake up two or three months into their marriage and realize they have been totally manipulated?! well thats pretty bad i would think. and all of a sudden marriage is more serious, more difficult, and alot more work then i thought. sure i knew it wasnt all pretty roses and romance, i knew its way more then that, but its WAY more then that. its just kinda came along and bopped me on the head. what do you think of that? oh, and by the way i found my wedding dress....