ranting while driving is strictly forbidden

the problem with starting a new semester in school, is that the schedule is different than last semester. now i know what youre thinking. like, duh. of course it isnt the same as the last semester. but the problem is that it takes me a long time to figure out my schedule each semester. so about three weeks before the semester is over, i finally get a handle on it and i dont have look at the schedule every five minutes to see when my next class is. so at the beginning of the semester, im still on last semester time. its like being in the wrong time zone or something. so i keep showing up for things at the wrong time, or missing things, or not remembering what day of the week it is exactly. its not so good.

why is it, do you think, that life is so complicated? nothing is ever simple, nothing is ever straightforward. except for when i travel for some reason. my sister's flights are always getting delayed or canceled or whatever, and they almost always loose her bags. for some reason, my traveling experiences are always really smooth. i never (baruch hashem, bli ayin hara, poo poo poo) have problems when i travel except for the occasional overweight bag which i either pay for or flutter my eyelashes or figure out some way to make it the right weight. so i dont seem to have problems with that. just other things. like seriously, why cant your beshert be plopped right in front of your at some point, whenever hashem deems you ready, with a sign on him that says, i dont know something instructive like "rivqa's beshert". that would make things nice and tidy. but does that happen? no. you gotta work for it. which, i suppose, makes you appreciate it more in the end. but for some people who have no time to date, like me, it becomes quite complicated. i know what youre thinking. if it was that important, i would find time. believe me its important. its just that when im taking seventeen credits and studying for a bunch of exemption tests, i dont really have any goof off time. my mom once told me that if she hadnt had to go to class when she was in class she would have had time to do the homework. i know how she feels. how am i supposed to get all this work done if im in class all the time? it's a quandary. i asked my brother when he dates in his crazy schedule. his answer? "sometime around three in the morning." yeah. no joke. also no help. and i hate the fact that the girl has to put in most of the work. yeah, yeah, the guy has to do alot of stuff once the dating actually begins, but all the preliminary stuff is done by the girl. seriously. i have no time. speaking of which i have to go do more homework. shock. and find dinner. adios.

there's a scratch in the record, there's a scratch in the record, there's a scratch...

songs that plays over and over again in my head: 'hey mama' by the black eyed peas, 'the memory remains' by metallica, 'haunted' by evanescence

quotes that seem hillariously funny at this moment though i dont know why:

--Det. Frank Tripp: "Come on, don't you guys have some gizmo to track this thing? That blue light with the buzzers and bells or that mass-spectro-detecto-whatever-you-call-it thingy? "

--Horatio Caine: "We are being detoured into the land of make-believe."

those little quirks in life that usually pass me by but at the moment seem largely annoying: people who dont call back when they say they will, people telling other people to call them on my cell phone, homework, doing what someone tells you to do, not feeling beautiful, people who you love one minute and drive you crazy the next, and hte fact that i have no chocolate in my apartment. anyone want to contribute to the list?

and the world turns round again.........

quote of the day:"Alright, be on the lookout for an Eastern European male with bad teeth who may have access to an ape." -Horatio Caine

song of the day: "Rockin in the Free World" neil young

im back in TI. again. because im crazy. on the upside, not only is this hopefully my final year here, but this time i have chelly here as my roomie. and mira. and meira for our daily entertainment. apparently somewhere out there in he world of cyberspace, i have an alternate ego. her name is rivqa. she spells it with a q. shes a writer/editor/publisher. and her blog has the same setup and color theme as me. freaky right? i wonder if she likes chocolate and CSI.

last night, after an emotional day, i couldnt get the computers to let me do something here. i was mad. i was talking to my mom on the phone and all of a sudden i started crying. out of the blue. for no reason at all. slight emotional break down. i think its passed. sometimes, i really hate being a girl. i need a punching bag. or a teddybear. or a guy. or all three. all of the above works pretty well.

im writing a new story. i never finish writing any of them because i dont have a long enough attention span. but this one is cool. i like it and i really like my character. he has red hair. hehehehe. ok back to homework we go.

leaving on a jet plane...

its 6:53, which means for the first time in my life, im ready twenty minutes early. my bags are packed, my room is stripped, and my boxes are stored safely inthe closet. man, im goin' HOME! after all the blood and tears, i get a vacation. a real, honest to goodness, vacation. for a whole. freakin. MONTH! yeah baby! ive packed and smushed my credits in so i will be walking down the aisle at graduation (no not my wedding, though that would be nice too) at graduation this coming june. look out world, here i come! one more year, and than i am out of here. and then since i have a death wish, ill be going to graduate school. but undergrad will be over and done with and the ripe old age of twenty. im going to apply to graduate shools in chicago, and some other cities too, but i really want to stay here. ive already talked to a bunch of the girlsand we are probably going to rent an apartment here in west rogers park together. my very first, my very own, apartment. i wont be under anyone else's thumb, excpet the land lord. i will officially be living on my own. the prospect of actually one dya living on my own is what i think gets me through the really long days here. and now, i am on my way out the door, to go to my home sweet home, to sleep, and read, and drink coffee. for a whole month. adios!

wandering wifi and music withdrawal

a monumental occasion has occurred. there i was, sitting in communication class where i was very happily communicating with my computer, when i realized something very interesting. in the top right corner there is a little indicator. in the presence of a wireless network bars will appear like on a cell phone to show how much reception i have. when im at bb's i have full reception, and most recently i have had reception in my room. i assumed that i was piggybacking on someone from the apartment building next door. and then i was sitting in class, doing pretty well in snood while my teacher prattled about something other ethics. and i happened to glance to the corner of my computer, and there residing ever so regally, were two cute little bars. the ultimate day of judgment my friends, has arrived. TI has gotten a wireless network. dun dun duuuuuuunn, do do! we never thought this day would come, but it has, and its real, and im over the moon (happy, not drugged).
its a week into the three weeks and i am already going crazy without music. a capella is no substitute for....like anything. ok maybe its a better substitute for like jessica simpson and britney spears, but it holds nothing over led zeppelin, guns n roses, metallica, ill even throw in a little blue oyster cult, the jam, and a little bit of the clash. my days are numbered.

whoever the dude was who said that being really busy is good for you and having a really solid structure is good, obviously had some sort of death wish. Seriously he really wanted to have it out with himself. he should seek help. and so should all the rest of us that have chosen to follow in his footsteps by packing our schedules full of classes and appointments and lunch dates. its madness i tell you. and i can sign myself up for that same therapy session because in an oh so brilliant move, i registered to take eleven credits this summer. thats four classes. each is three hours long twice a week. did you know that it is impossible for me to sit still for that long and take notes about anything? but here are some things i do have to be thankful for:

chocolate

coffee

dance shows

benjamin mackenzie

gilmore girls reruns

metallica

led zeppelin

hot topic

siblings

cell phones

internet (though not the one at school because its down right now)

mrs. eisenberg for figuring out how i can graduate in june

movies

ice cream

donuts

air conditioning

friends who are legal :)

Prince Charming is OUT, Peter Pan is IN

out with the old, in with the new. thats my philosophy. actually i have no idea. i dont think i even have a philosophy concerning that, but its fun to pretend. but lets focus on the prince and peter for the moment.
last night i was online with a friend of mine and i asked her to imagine what the guy im gonna marry looks like. we talked about that for a little while and then i said "great. now where do you think im gonna find this dude?" so we pondered that for a bit, and then i asked "ok it would be easier to find him if i could identify him somehow. what do you think he is wearing at this exact second?" the answer? a green shirt. and so was born my peter pan fantasy.

so now the real question is, if i am going to marry peter pan, does that make me the female romantic character in the story, or does that make me tinkerbell? confusing huh? on the one hand, shes pretty, shes got wings, and shes got this cool fairy dust stuff that can help people learn how to fly. sounds like a pretty cool deal to me. but then there is the issue that she is really a very pesky character. there those of you who might say that i am already a pesky person so its really a perfect match, but i dont think im really as pesky as her. at least i hope not. i think i will be her though because the idea of wings outweighs the idea of peskiness.

so on to bigger and better things in life. such as...well i cant think of anything at the moment, but i always have my great fall back plan of ice cream and cake. those are bigger and better then everything else in world that i can think so i guess its a pretty good plan. well i must be off to continue working so i can get as much done as possible before my family comes because once they are here im not going to be able to do any work. and mo still doesnt know that we are all coming. hee hee hee!

highway to hell

ok so i know that i am lazy, and a slob, and all those bad things, but for the first time in my life i actually have an excuse for being a slacker. i, rivqa abrams, kind of have a life. yeah it doesnt really sound too exciting, but taking sixteen college credits and working four days a week is no mean feat. i actually have places to go and people to see and things to do and all hours of the day. this is the first time that i have just sat at the computer and typed for fun in like two months. so lets see if i can cover the major highlights. pesach was crazy crazy crazy, i had twelve people in my house. sammy avoided me at all costs to the extent of running in the other direction when he passed by me on the street, and i got in a car accident with my sister. lets focus on that one for a minute.you know how people say when they are in life threatening situations they see their life pass before their eyes? those people, have never been in life threatening situations. its not true. number one, its over so fast. at least this kind is. its over fast. you have about enough time to freeze up and then scream. and then all youre left with the is the aftershocks. which is almost more scary then the crash itself. when i felt that clunk of impact with the other car, my mind went completely blank. i could not think of anything at all. all i thought was "man thats gonna hurt". i didnt have regrets, or wishes, i wasnt wishing for a specific person besides my mommy at that exact second, but even that came as an after thought. in that moment when our car collided with theirs all i knew was terror. and afterwards my life flashed before my eyes. as we were sitting in the car and trying to get our breathing to go back to normal and tried not to cry and the people in the other car yelled at us in russian. believe me it didnt help the situation much.my little bro is getting an award from the skokie yeshiva for excellence in learning, which is awesome because hes getting it even though this is his first year and he came in an elevnth grader and thats really hard. so hes getting this award but he doesnt know about it. he also doesnt know that me, and dev, and my parents are all gonna be at the dinner. im so excited for him to see us walk into the hall when he gets his award. its gonna be sooooooo much fun. his eyes are gonna get huuuuuuuuge and then just pop right out of his head. hehehehehe.
speaking of the highway to hell, i have paved a perfect one for myself. see when i started, it made perfect sense in my mind. now perfect sense in my mind usually means that in actuality im not making much sense at all, but i sort of had a lapse in judgment at the time. so basically i have this teacher who i really dont like. i hate her way of teaching, i hate the way she treats us, i just am really unhappy with her class in general. so what is my brilliant solution to deal with this? well its too not show up to class and to never do the homework of course. see at the time it seemed like the perfect revenge. only now, now that i am in finals time, have i realized the stupidity in that. there was probably a much smarter way to deal with all this. but now i have dug this nice little whole that i have to live in. i paved a perfect highway to hell. but it would be so much cooler if i had an Australian accent while i did it.